The Mouth of MMA

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UFC Fight For The Troops Results - The Mouth! Style

Posted by Mark Figula on January 22, 2011 at 11:55 PM

By "The Mouth," Rogue MMA Commentator

Two things happened when I planted my derriere on the couch to watch tonight's "Fight For The Troops' UFC card:

  1. I relived the moment of puberty as my nutsack reappeared after its hiatus due to 12 degree fahrenheit temperatures here in the Jerz.
  2. I embarrassed myself when I became the only person in the room to laugh as the show kicked off with a bit about supporting soldiers who had suffered from serious brain trauma.  Now, before you jump down my throat (like the others here did), let me explain that I FULLY support the efforts the UFC is putting into helping our soldiers out.  I just found it ironic that they are talking about brain trauma treatments while they show a clip of Vitor Belfort punching a dude senseless.  Alanis Morrisette should include this moment in her song when she redoes it in 2024 for the comeback tour.  Oh wait, there isn't one real ironic statement in that song is there?

Matt Wiman defeats Cole Miller by decision:

In a fight between two friends that went the distance, I learned an important thing... GAS wins fights.  Okay, I knew this before, but I got reminded.  Matt Wiman just kept coming at Cole Miller and the kid folded a little at a time.  Wiman was on him like hair on a state trooper's upper lip for 15 straight minutes.  The only unanswered question after this fight was how could one judge have given Miller a round?

Pat Berry defeats Joey Beltran by decision:

In another thorough drubbing, Pat Berry proved that a man can take a knee to the nuts and still kick the snot out of you.  If only he'd not tired himself out hitting the game Beltran, perhaps he would have had the wherewithal to chop down Beltran's front leg sooner and have made this a TKO.  It was a plodding victory, but a dominant one nonetheless.This time TWO judges gave the clear loser a round.

Mark Hominick defeated George Roop by first round TKO:

Surely having seen the judging pattern emerging in the first two bouts, Hominick came out on a mission.  His face told the tale as he looked upon Roop with the kind of contempt that says, "What makes you think you belong in this cage with me, punk?!"  Advancing forward, he just smashed the brunette big bird lookalike to the canvas and walked off victorious.  His reward?  A match with Jose Aldo.  Good luck, pal.

Matt Mitrione defeats Tim Hague by first round TKO:

Not wishing to be outdone by the Canadian, the much hated Mitrione showed some solid boxing skills when he used a sidestep and quick, straight left to drop Hague.  I guess bad smirk trumps evil eyebrows.  Rock, paper, scissors, straight left, bitches!

Melvin Guillard defeats Evan Dunham by first round TKO:

All speed and aggression, Guillard picked apart Dunham right from the opening bell.  Lightning fast hands followed by a trifecta of brutal knees to the head (one which was technically illegal, when Dunham's knees had made it to the floor) ended this fight in short order.  Hey all you people who think Greg Jackson fighters are boring... Where are you?  Flame this article.  I dare ya'!  Losers!

As usual, a not-so-highly-touted UFC card delivers solid entertainment.  I did, however, find myself rooting for fights to go to decision  just to avoid watching the same 5 commercials for the 87th time.  Makes one appreciate PPV just a little bit...

One last comment:

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"The Mouth" is just a dude with an opinion and "The Web" is just a place where he thinks anyone actually wants to hear it.


Categories: Features, Commentary, The Mouth!

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1 Comment

Reply Bill Griffiths
11:45 AM on January 23, 2011 
The point about irony was not lost. My girlfriend and I were thinking the same thing, especially when the ref stepped in to stop Hominick from destroying Roop and the crowd booed!